That Guy

THAT GUY

I Tell myself that are you still recongize that person that you see in those photos ? I tell myself that he look so familiar but i cant really remember that who is him ,memories flash back into my head and try to squeeze those stuff into my head and makes me headche ,I thi nk that i know him because that used to be who i am !

I cant believe how does that feels when you cant remember the person who you used to be ! have you really chang use that much or just hate to think about the person who you used to become ,is it that bad ?

Blessing

Blessing the best things in your life
Love everything that you have
apperciate what you have now
enjoy your life and no worries

Job VS Real Life

Job VS Real life

I'm still Surpise that how Job effect me in my emotion,personal & personalities .I am not a workerholic ,I do judge on the things on how it benefited me ,i usually wont make a deal on something that doesnt help me but most time the results turn out to be opposite because when you think you are smart enough to make yourself a winner but in the end you still doesnt get anything except people get you .

My Job is pretty Simple with Basic skills ,but it isnt really that easy and it not really hard ,you can do it and everybody can do it ,funny thing that is the obstacles that keep blocking my way ,of course it makes me learns lots of humanity which sounds extremely sacrastic because it just a sales assistant post ,it really depends of point of view that you stand ,sometimes the action ,decision and the tone of things does effects on the way other people judge you while you judge on other things ,in different angle when you done the right thing ,certains still have negative reaction .I guess this is reality !

I hate the fact that this job makes me quickly angry and frustrated sometimes ,when i back at home look at myself at the mirror wonder how the people are going to think about when the pissed off face display on my face ,when i basiclly laugh about somebody it usually turns it back onto my back ,funny much ?

Cant believe that i will pissed about small things ,i notice that recently i like to said that i dont like to deal with idiots & how idiots makes me a bitch ,i cant stand with people who work slow like a shit ,i also hate that they wants to make things simplistic but in the end its become even more complicated ,dont you think that it is slap onto the face ?

I love and hate the job at the same time ,its feels like when you in love with someone ,because you love how much it gives you but also hate the feeling when you deal with it .well if the job is boring then why you still work ? thats why in the end of the day when you hate it but inside your heart you still glad that you hate to love it because at least its something you worth to love than something you dont even bother to mention

The sky ,,,,still so blue

Still looking at the sky ,its so blue and its never been that way ,looking at the mirror ,for a long long time ,i feels great about my apperances ,Probably is the reason that i successfully lose my weight ,the time has pass really fast ,I cant believe that its almost been a year from now ,People who know DEREK doesnt really know Tan Wei Hong ,In memories ,The fat guy who walks infront you doesnt turn out who you expect to be ,looking at my own shadow under the light wondering am i has change ?!

I keep remind myself that Must remember who I used to be and should know how that character feels like ,hate that couldt control what i wish to had but starts to againsting person that who i used to be ,I used to be Fat and i know that kind of feelings and how people would treat you ,as a person like me who used to be somebody shoes ,Shouldt that i should know their feelings better ,but how come i'd critic someone else who i used to looks like ?
Am I change that much ?! Check the comparison carts ,I felt that i had done so many bad's .

I'm too emotional ,I want everything to be perfect ,I can tell you that I hate and love my job at the same moment ,i couldt accept people keep giving my excuses of certain things that couldt be done at the time,for me a task when you couldt handle over ,you are no excuse given but failure tags all over ,that just my rules ,i hate that i being bossy because i hate bossy people but why i had this type of atitude ? thats why we should never judge somebody because characteristic that you hate probably is in one of yours .

Life's is easy at some point ,I dont treat it as hard as people describe ,I know what i am doing and what i am talking ,i know that i keep making mistakes and decision that i should done but am i really chop it and end it like what i should do ? i hope that i am not just keep talking but doesnt achieve it ,must be some evils runs into my mind and telling me to go out of control .

it isnt a excuse but its your choice .I take my choice ,i should be no regret but at some point i always feels guilty

Just enjoy my life

Just enjoy my life because my life is great and full of colour ...

love

Have a certain Emotion Breakdown

Sometimes I'll hate a certain Emotion Breakdown ,That kind of upset feelings make you really nervous and no clue at all ,you just feels really tired frustrated and angry .Yeah that emotion call HATE
i want to control my emotion but i cant sometimes ,call me a bad actor but i such a failure if you put me into a scandalous society ,I Hate things about me in the pass ,look into the class where i used to sit ,cant believe i used to be that sterotype ,hate of being ingore and 'excistent' which i used to be no-one in the class during high school year ,I HATE IT .Funny that now i have change in mental and how i look & dress but my personalities is still the same ,i still have a good heart just that i'm more pride & critical !
HATE I hate that i'm not good enough to handle tough emotion breakdown and fake fucking bitches ,Too lazy to type out and not even worth to mention .
This such A STRONG WORD .I dont even know why i use it to express but i'm sure its just for certain moment because if i look back to what i wrote .i'd LMAO .

Nervous & Excited

Okay ,I admit that my SPM Result is very bad and out of my expectation ,I always said that i will try my best to achieve good result but the truth is i just saying because i never really put effort on work
On these 10 month of working experience ,i learn a lots of money & experience compared to the same class of 2009 ,I consider that as a good thing but sometimes i feels like i slowly fade away to the background ,without that piece of paper ,i feels souless and dont know how to survive more in future

YES I do earn much money for now but does this job can last forever and support my fianical in the future ,we dont know about the future but i do know that it wont last .

I wish that I can have the chance to made in Universiti ,hopefully ,All the best

If you really want this then You can do it

Its not the impossible it just how are you going it make it happen ,Just like Nike Campaign tagline [NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE]
This is what I believe .because if you really want something then I believe you can find a good way to make it happen without hurting anyone or yourself .if you think that is impossible then can you answer me that are you always finding the excuse to make it happen because you know that the impossible its actually a covering up the lie that you dont want to put your effort ?

When i want something ,i will try my best to achieve ,no matter how desperate i am ,in the end of the day i will still see the result ,even the result probably isnt what i am looking for and what i really expect but at least i got something than nothing ,dont just sit there and waiting for the chances to drop from the sky because thats the real impossible that never going to happen .
If you want to reach something you can really do it ,it just the matter of how are you going to do ir and the question is do you really want to do it ?

I am not good at this at all ,somethings in my life that i still finding excuse to make the impossible to happen but at least i put my effort on something in the other hand ,i wish people also can be like ,not everything can be perfect but at least you work and fight for something you love

October Updates :

I Cant believe Year 0f 2009 its running so fast and i though that i'm still a High School fresh graudated .Anyway Here's Updates of myself in this month .

OCTOBER 2009 .
-So the Salary of this month its pretty good to be honest but to me it still never enough for me because everybody know that i know how to spend money very well

Music
- I brough 4 CD' this month ,Sounds crazy right ? Yeah Now that Artist Gallery Supervisor even chat to me .Anyway I brough Lady Gaga.Mariah Carey & Daughtry 1st Deluxe Edition & 2nd album ,well its quit a lots of money but I enjoy it ,plus she give me 10% discount which is quit nice.

Fashion
- Erm Okay ,This month I spend the most money on clothing ,I mean seriously !!!! I spend about RM600 .I brough Topman Skinny Jeans & Check shirt because i want to dress up like a stylista like what i see in LookBook Site ,Omg its HOT & A Guess V-neck T-shirt and I love it.
Hag !!! I need to control myself haha

Later plan of the month ,I still have plans and deals that i got to take care of .I also need to go to Wawasan Universiti to check update for my study next year

Wake Up from Dream

Its Full of dreams & Hopes ,Cant seperate from reality & fantasy .I refuse to wake up and back to reality facing the deal in my life .
I need to wake up from Dream ,I have to know that there's a huge different between both side .Sometimes in our life ,it seems to be easy to made certain things but when you really put your hands onto it then you would know does it really that simple as what you expect ,thats why we shouldt put judgement on something before you know the real story behind the back .I should always remind myself about it but I just keep forget .

Waking ! Waking ! Waking ! I have a lots of plans and future ahead of me ,The days pass so fast that i didt even reliaze ,when you saw the building around the city getting taller ,you also starts seeing your parents become older .scared of losing something in your life ,while you facing something that annoy you so much in your life ,you wish to fast forward to ingore that problem ,same time we also fast forward our time so much and it could possible make us losing some great moment in our life .

-Please dont forget the people you love when you feeling sad and thinks that people around you doesnt love you anymore .
-Please stop giving excuse when you couldt get something done because you know that excuse is because you are too lazy to face the problem
-Please Remind yourself that you have a great life and apperciate what the god have gave to you while you dont love yourself while you look at the mirror
-Please Let the emotion go out while you feeling sad and wants the tears to drop out from your eyes because you have the right to release what you feels
-Please stay strong and never give up on what you believe in when you facing struggle and obstacle in your life

What kill you isnt what stopping you ,what really killing you is that you block your own and doesnt give yourself a chance to doing what you can do and always finding excuse .
Its not easy to wake up from your dream and back to reality of facing what's in your life that you dont want but please give yourself a chance .

PLEASE ! Because you can do it

Life

Life is short ......
Always reading & hearing people talk about their life's experience and the circumstance,obstancles & the things that they handle in their life ,With every decision they are making it lead them to the next level of their life ,life's a journal we never figure out whats the next chapter until we unfold it by ourself .

I Enjoy my Life ,I have great life ,God gives my almost everything goods for me ,I should learn how to apperciate it ,people said that we should never compared ourself to other people ,dont have jealous or fools over someone life because we dont know their road and how many steps to take them to here .Sometimes I am really afriad to take the next step because i dont really know whats happen in the next chapter of my life .

I guess this is what life is all about ,we dont know until we are 'there' ,if life is predictable then we wouldt call it life ,always had to be prepare to handle the things that we never happen ,stand straight when facing problems and made it through .I do have regret of the things and decision that i had done ,To be honest ,I struggle with myself a lots recently I wants to make a choice and make sure it was no regret but it been on my mind and its bothers me so much .

I wants to achieve something greats because i believe i can do it .

Beautiful

You're beautiful ! you're beautiful ! you're beautiful ! Its truth .
People said that the most important thing of a person is beautiful come from inside but do you all reliaze that the first impression is basiclly come out from outside ?
For example ,if that person is beautiful in the outside as in good looking or pretty then people would like to make friends and even talk to them ,discover more about them because while you're beautiful ,you basiclly get the spotlight and everybody wants to be your friends ,at this point whether you're beautiful on the inside is another story .

For another example ,there's a person who isnt good looking or not pretty ,while people look at he/she ,they probably dont even bother to care about he/she ,people really care about first impression and the face takes lots of points ,even that person is really beautiful on the inside but if the 'outside' isnt good enough then it already minus points in other people ,isnt it ?

I used to be a fat people and didt get much care besides my family and real friends ,i think that beautiful in the inside is the most important but people always judge the book by its cover ,the rules always play like that ,since i lose weight ,i have more confidents and looking better in terms of overall body of work ,this prove that there's much different /

Time pass soo fast

The 2009 September ..74Kg

end of August 2009 76kg

Begin of August 2009 79Kg
The Highest Peak of my weight 93KG

Somewhere around 2008 when my weight around 89Kg
Near graudation while my weight reach 87kg During 2008

Time pass soo fast ,I Couldt believe its going to be october soon ,in my mind i though that i still a high school graduated but now not anymore,the things has changes soo fast around me ,force all the things to grow up ...

I am change so much

Little updates of what happen recently ...

Just a little updates of what happen recently

Chapter 1 : Work
- Well My Passion & fire is back ,now at least get people confirmation that i can work and i know that this wasnt something that i need to prove because i know i can bring it but of course money is all the things that it matter ,tbh I wasnt really putting my heart on this job because i dont consider is worth ,well no job in this world is worth except me for being my parents son .I just wish to have a good sales every single month then i get a good comission ,I dont care about the relationship with the staff because it just blah ..well its sosial and i know gotta put my game face on but i just feels like didt care anymore .like ya know ,its not even worth to deals with IDIOT .well you couldt put some idiots away ,so you just have to ingore them ,if you think i dislike you or whatever then i hope you should know why and i dont care about a damn about it .i'll just doing my job properly ,makes couple lame jokes and have good time with it ..


Chapter 2 : Personal stuff
- Well i still continue keep up my personal stuff .my room is going to get renovation soon ,so i'm pretty excited about it ,about some paper work and exams that i'm on ,i feels pretty shame that i didt have enough time to study and until now i still failing which totally idiotic of myself .I need to take care my body better because i'm just recovering from sick [2 days MC] and it was pretty bad ,i'm having fever.cough. my throat is burning ,sort of stuff ,so my health is more important but then again i'm back on the on diet plan because i gain a bit in past weeks .so i gotta watch out .but since i'm sick ,so it automaticlly drop a bit and i'm feeling good about it but still have to keep up to reach my goal weight and ideal body

Chapter 3 :Desire
- So I probably have a chance to overseas in end of the year and i hope it is going to happen because i am totally excited about it ,now my fashion sense is getting even better ,i'm not cocky to admit it but its the facts ,so when i get my salary i will buy a skinny jeans and checks shirts ,i already spotted the topman one .awesome ! cant wait to buy

so thats it
xoxo

I am Just another Teenager

Hey everybody My Name is TAN WEI HONG ,You can call me Derek if you like .
I love my life because i have a lovely parents and sister who love me very much and always give support help and build a strong family tree for me .

I graudated last year in high school ,i been start working since last year december .if you ask me whether i plan to study in future or i just want to be street smart and my answer would be I will try my best to enter a wawasan universiti next year .Now i work in Padini concept store under the department Padini which selling office wear ,its my third job actually .

I love Everything that is Fabulous Expensive Glamorous and Beautiful ,I spends tons of money on fashion because I love them ,sometimes i think great clothes can cover my low-esteem confidents ,I know it might seems weird to said i have low-esteem confidents but its true .I though that I am different than some of the teenagers in my age because i am not like the character from soap opera or friends around me who struggle after their high school life but today i reliaze that underneath everything :

I AM JUST ANOTHER TEENAGER

At first i think that i know why i want and what my life is meant to be but its 180 twisted ,I have strong family but due of my personalities ,many things fail myself in the real sosial life ,This is the one thing that i struggle a lots and i seriously needs to work on it ,sometimes i didt meant it but i dont know how to use the right word or right tone and it rub people in wrong way .

I need to be grow up in myself ,Many things in my life that i am still not achieve and always relay on people and i only know how to blaming ,which is wrong ! I need to be focus and more serious about it

I am really love what i'm having and i dont want to grow up too fast .I'm 19 and its not too young but its not that young .

SHUT me DOWN

I'm using a browntape ,open it then wrap around my mouth and cover with my lips .I starts to stop talking and forgot my voice and how it sounds like then i dont know how to express myself besides let my work and results answer every question and judgement .

YEAP ! THAT IS WHAT I WAS HOPING TO HAPPEN .
I love to express how i feels because i am a outspoken person and i am outgoing ,always love to express to other people about how i feels but i learn the truth about these few days ,turns out people that work in same place as your doesnt like it at all ,then i figure out the best way to solve the problem is to SHUT ME DOWN ,Which shut my damn mouth .

When i dont have 'voice' to explain and express myself ,i will put my heart & soul with hardwork into my work ,voices surronded comes to attack and judging .the only way is to prove that i am do it and i can pull this off .i''m hoping my work performances & the outcome result is good because starts from now i am waiting them to express for me .i am tired to open my mouth to express anymore because i dont know how to use the right word to express myself ....

Life is too short .i will be happy .I think about the people that i love ......i work for money and have a better life and not to impress you people ...

I will SHUT DOWN Myself ,the truth me starts from today in my job because thats what they want to see .i shall starts create a clone for my own ,for their sakes .

OVER

I am really over ,over with everything .I am really tired and fraustrated to deal with the things that you people pull to me .I know I make mistake and i admit the fact that i am wrong and sorry about it ,maybe my atitude rub you people in wrong way but pls dont out every judgement on me whenever i did something ,pls let me have time to explain .

why is it so hard to let you guys have time for me to explain ? i just come here to work ,i just have to earn money ,make friends and gain life experinece but i dont understand why ? why ? why ? I know that I probably give you people hard time when i didt really did well in my task but pls forgive me .i know you probably tired of me making mistake but i already done my best to achieve everything that hand on me .you think that i purposely make it become a failure ??!

do you know how much it hurt when people treat you hardwork heart and soul piece into something trash ? pls stand in my angle and understand how much i feels .i am a good listener but doesnt mean i am the best listener ,when you not happy with someone or complain about someone else .i will listen and talk through about it but why everytime when you facing that person as you can act like nothing happen and not even want to confront about it ?

I am worst actor in the world ,i consider myself smart is actually a side of dumb ,i am dumb because i dont know how to put my makeup in my face .pls i asking for you people to let me have time to explain ,try to be in my place try to understand how i feels ,i know you probably dont have time to do this but pls at least give me chances .

I am over with this ,i am over with everything ,starts from this moment ,i am going to stand for myself and i will do the things that i did is right .no more regret ,as for you people .I AM OVER YOU !!!!

I am NOT asking for permission

I have the right to decided what i want to do and what decision that i need to make in my life ,The action that i take doesnt means that i am completely correct but that also doesnt mean that you have the right to judge on everything that i do .

I have a great family ,lovely parents and lovely sisters .For those people who love and care about me will only give me advice and help me through the situations at time ,I have respect for all the people that i love .For those people who only know how to judge other people .i have two words for you SCREW YOU

I am so tired and dont want to continue to playing character with the drama that you people join ,I am so frustrated and just want to finish and done my job right ,Pls dont make a godamn decision or a judgement that you put on me because i do NOT ask you to do that .for me you dont have the damn right to judge on me .I have put my heart and soul in my work ,if that doesnt seems enough for you then i'm done because i dont need to prove to you that i am that good because i know that .

I am so tired of proving to you people that i am good enough .I did learn my mistakes from the past but why you people never seems to understand it ,pls dont judge everytime ,I'm here to work and earn money and experience only ,i dont even care to make friends but this is a workplace and i dont want to make it bad situations because i probably face you people at least 8 hours a day .

So PLEASE !!!! I do not asking for your permission on everytime ,if you think that i am wrong then correct me and not bashing about me .i am done enough ,i am so damn tired because when i achieve on something you people just never seems to glad it but when i did something mistake you people just overacted about it .maybe i am sensitive but so what ? i really dont care at all .I make the decision .

I make those decision is for myself and the people that i love and NOT try to impress you people .I'm done !~

I really tried my best already ! why it still isnt enough ?

Sometimes when you didt tried your best to achieve something or work on something that you wish to done then when its come to problems or trouble you have no one to blame but yourself
but sometimes when you really tried your best and put all your effort but people still think that you did not give it your all ,do you know how it feels ?

if you dont care about something then you wont even bother to take care of it ,I tried my best to achieve something and want to prove to people that i have the ability and potential to be great lead and all you need to do is just trust your best with me ,i know that put trust on some people isnt a easy things to do ,specially on nowdays society but you never wish you doubt about my performances .i wont said that i am perfect because i am careless and making mistakes but i wont said that i am amateur because i have experience ,

just that i really hurts my hearts that people didt see the effort and my heart that i put on the work that i done ,i do tried my all best to give it to all ,if you think that wasnt enough for you people then what should i do ? Why I must keep impress you ? sometimes i know that i already reach over my limit ,i dont need to prove that i am this good because i know that i can do it but how come you people always doubting on me ?

I tried to give people helps and advice but no one ever put it onto their ears ,I just want to help.is it that hard for you people ? if you think that i have no tried hard enough then i shall redone all over again but when i tried my best and still not enough .then what should i do ?

This should be good

Lately I feeling the pressure at the workplace ,this time the defination of pressure isnt that little gossiping or other tiny thing but the things that really bother up to my head is .

DO I HAVE IT TO EARN PEOPLE TRUST ?!

I Afriad the answer is no from them ,I might be not serious most time and such a little 'bitch' atitude ,i always forgot things and quit didt take the lesson from my mistakes but I know that i have the potential to make something good.

lately they give me much things to do compare to the last month ,the bad news is I feels quit pressure because i'm scare of making mistakes and make them feels dissapointed but i try to look at the good side because if people doesnt trust you enough then why would they give you things to do ? I must earn more their trust
I should be glad that they trust me that i can pull it off ,I no where near good but i will try my best to do it ,even sometimes i might complain but it just the way of me to express .

end of the day after i sleep i reliaze that make me busy its actually a good thing because i scare of being nothing to do ,because that makes me worthless in end of the day .

wish me good luck

i feel

I feels like wants to achieve something and prove to the people that i have the ability to do it .I want to let everyone know that i have the potential ,I wish people can see through this mix personalities of mine and really understand the goods .I want to have chances on myself but i let myself drown into the lake of bad .

I feels that i am such a big hypocritic ,I dislike the people personalities is actually certain angle of my own .Its actually hating your own personalities ,I wish I have the power to changing ,I know that i only keep talking and writing to make up the things to let it seems better but underneath it actually become worst as the days goes .

I want to solve problem but I dont know how to use it and make people think i create the problem .I have to make everything clear and let them know the fine line but I failed every single time because i am the people who stop myself getting better .I think people who dislike me will eventually blocking my way to the lane of succed but actually i am the one who create the people that dislike me due of myself .

I feels tired and frustrated ,I want to reborn in a different way ,I love my personalities and also hate it at the same time ,i feel twisted and Wants to get twisted by people ,I want someone slap to my face to reveal me the reality .I surronded by people who love and support me but i dont know how to apperciate it .I though I understand the meaning of Apperciate but turn out i am just try to show off people that i knew it but its actually covering up and not truly understand.

I want to shut myself in a door of Hopes .I want to have to ladder to let me escape from the bad side of mine to run out from this mystery world .I wish to be smart because i am stupid and it is because every single time when i think i did something smart is actually something very stupid .I am the idiot who never understand the truth .I want to live as normal but i had to choose between good and bad .

I wish to be quite because it is not a part of my personalities , I wish to be quite because people wont know about my bads come out from my mouth ......

I am the one who will destroy myself

LOVE

I love my Life
I love my family ,they are part of my life .I have the best parents in the world .
I love about everything and I apperciate about everything around me

I stand for what I believe

In this world ,Everybody is different ,We all have the different mind ,different dream and different desire .
I believe in hardwork would paid off and when you achieve on something ,you will earn something else much more important .Money isnt something that can balance & define the meaning behind it .if you are not experience it ,then you wont really understands it .

I Pray for the goods in my life ,The Bad Side of my personalities has stop me sometimes ,Thanks for my family specially my supportive parents and sisters who always save me from the mistakes .I Have only have 1 Important thing in my life which is LOVE .
Without it I cant survive alone ,Sorry for not being mature and I always be the love child ,I need to grow up ,My Parents wont be forever next to me ,People will help you but eventually in the end of the day ,is yourself who it can only help your own ,You cant always relay on people to help you .

I stands for what I believe ,its my faith and its my destiny .I might be wrong ,I been did mistakes but i will learn from it .

Forgettable ?

Am I that Forgettable ?

I Never been the person who ever wants to become everybody best friend and let everybody know about my excistent but I never though that I am that forgettable .
This Happens about 2 weeks ago ,One of my Best friend go overseas to study .I still remember that day I am in pretty down mood and I almost forgot that is the day that he will overseas .Then i quickly pick up the phone and call him but no one answer the phone .from that moment I feels really sad .that night I call My Another BFF Emily .I Express about how i feels and state that i only has 2 best friend in my this entire life .The Whole Conversation is Priceless .I couldt hold my tears but to cry in the phone ,From that moment I know that all the friendship in these years is worth for the best thing in this world .

After that coversation I call my other friends who i think is still have chance to contact .pardon me for not being a good friends because i literally forget so many of you .Sorry ! I know that there's some friends still wonder whats up in my life .Sometimes i jealous that they still hang out together .Then I call one of my high school friend Liang .Now he is in NS .I cannot believe that he forget about me .I told him my friend and he had no idea at all .

This actually Didt hurt at all but the facts shows that i am forgettable .but the truth is i am not
some friendship will only stay on certain timeline .

I Need a Makeover

I need a makeover ! I need to get my hair done and everything .The Last time where i get my haircut its actually 26th of June ,its actually just a month but my hair is out of shape and i couldt get it style right .sometimes i looks like a mess when i didt style it .
But I need a whole new look ,in order to get a whole new look ,i had to keep my hair for another months .so my hair is grow long enough for the changes and i have no idea how to go through this month but i desperately need a new makeover

I been obessed with my weight problem since i in high fashion but this year its actually not a problem anymore even i am not skinny in the ideal weight but at least i am heathier compare to previous years and still a bit chubby .sometimes i thinks about losing the extra pounds but its actually hard .i work at least 9 hour a day .i have some pressure and had a lots of things didt done yet .i throw this problem behind the back so that it wont bother me .people said that now my weight its actually ok and i dont have to worry about it and i feels great to heard that comment .i want to excersize sometimes but i had no time .so the only choice is to eat health but sometimes i tired of healthy food .haha

My Life

MY LIFE
My Life is Normal because I live like a normal human being and have a normal life .
My Life is Special because There's always some special things happen in my life .
My Life is Surpise because its been full of surpises every single time .
My Life is Amazing because I have what i wish and want to life .
My Life is Boring because I keep repeat doing the same routine every single day .
My Life is Useless because Sometimes I give up to the great oppurnity to have something great.
My Life is Annoying because some people thinks that i am annoying and thats the feelings .
My Life is Bitchy because I have bitchy charactersitic and i aint gonna deny that .
My Life is Fake because i work in the place which surronding fake bitches .
My Life is Love because I have the family who really love and show me the true meaning .
My Life is Spicy because There will be a spicy twist at least once a week
My life is Movie because I feels like watching myself in real life as in movie character sometimes.
My Life is Perfect because I have the best things in the world
My Life is Jealousy because i jealous of what other people have and i dont .
My Life is Comparison because I always compare myself to other people .
My Life is Rich because i love the money and great glamourous branded and beautiful thing .
My Life is Cute because I have a bubbly personalities and always create something cute .
My Life is crazy because you never ever expect what I will doing in the next minute
My life is Dissapointment because I didt apperciate the chance that i have and earn it .
My Life is Tired because I always failing and making failure in my life
My life is Intersting because I will never know what happen in tomorrow or next minute

MY LIFE Is GODNESS Because There's no other better word than this and my life is FULL of everything ...

Best Friend Forever

Best friend Forever

In My entire Life ,I have many friends and people around me come and pass by .Some I will remember but some i eventually forgot about them .You will have countless friends in my life, you probably remember all your friends name but do you really know who your best friend is ?! How Many Best friends do you actually have in your entire life ? How many of them do you put your heart and soul into it ? and How many best friend you really need ?!

In my life .I have 2 Best friend .Tan Xian wei and Emily Yeap ,They are my best friend Forever .The terms of BFF couldt express enough the words of how to represent them because they are just the greatest .besides my family they probably the two person that i ever put 100% into them .i put my heart and soul .I know most time i probably rub people in wrong way but i am glad that i still have time to rely on because there's someone who really know about me .

I am really glad to have them .I Will give all my best and bless all the good lucks to them along the way

What am I reaching for ?

People in their life ,They know what they want and they know what their dream and reaching for certain things that whats their life are meant to be .I though that I really know what i am really reaching for but when i deeply looking inside my heart ,i only see a ?

? I Have no idea really ,I know it might sounds hypocritic for you that i am not knowing these answer behind the back ,as a person individual without knowing what you really wants ,makes yourself like a lifeless dull person that waiting for the dead ,your life would be meaningless because when people dont know desires and dreams and dont know what they want in their life then what else is besides death ? they can choose whether death come to them or they go with death .it all just a matter of choice .

What am I really reaching for in my life ,Over these months ,I know that certain things has changes ,I go through some process that twisted my personalities .I though that I want the rich and fourtune ,I want what other people have and much better than what they have .Enjoy the feelings when people jealous of you because you have something that they dont want .These feelings keeps poping on my head .I try to get out of it ,lately when I figure out it probably Is what my life is reaching for ?!

BUT When I have time for myself and alone ,I reliaze that i had the time back to the original who I am .Feels like taking off all those skins and see whats real colour in inside ,When i saw some old people ,i will feels sympathy because they are alone and having a sad life ,Some people wants to have a meal everyday in their life because they dont know when will them having the next meal ,Some people wish their family members always next to them and some people wish that they can always being on the top in every single time .

Today I look through myself and I found the answer ! What i ever want is HAPPINESS ,Thats all .i wants to be with my family ,even i am not the richest but i am still wants to be the happiness family on the world .

~Soya Fever~

Recently I in love with something and I already become a addict and i also introduce my friends.family & collegue .

Its ~ SOYA ~ Erm ....Duh Who havent drink soya in their life ?!
But this time its special ,usually when i go to Queensbay mall soya king i usually drink the black sugar one only but ever since the first time i saw the soya blended on the fruit twiser .I quickly spotted ,That soya promoter me some of their special treat which is soya blended with fruits

Its just 4 days I already drink Soya blended with Banana.Tomato.Honeymelon & Celery ...
Damns ,Its really good ....i aint lying

Look at yourself before you judge something else

Look at yourself before you judge something else .
I admit that I have a hypocritic characteristic inside my body ,I Never really though about what comes out from my mouth or how hurtful to other people and include myself in other way .I always though that i learn from the mistake but the truth is i never really done that but keep repeating the same thing over and over again .Then I write my feelings in my blog and make myself feels better than everyone self but turns out i actually looks like one of those kind of people .

Yesterday I go to lunch with one of my senior in my workplace and Over the short conversations It meant a lots to me because its open up about what people thinks and what do i thinks .I am completely wrong since day 1 ,which i should learn from the starts ,I though that is people to stop my way to reach it but actually i am the person who stop myself to reach a better things .In order to break the wall is starts learning and i meant learning .That lunch conversation is actually one of the best thing happen in my workplace .

Look at yourself before you judge something else .I shall keep this phrase in my mind all the time .keep reminding myself

The Legend will always be in our heart

I still remember the stars that pass away since milatinum ..They are truly a star ,they had done amazing things on the entertaiment industry ,Plants down the great time on our life and always give the best as they could ,This is what a great real performer would do ,Unlike some celebrities there who only know the rich frame and fortune only .

People will die in their life once ,its crazy to said that we'll live forever .Some people thinks that life is too long and its hard for them to carrie on ,some choose the wrong way to 'fasten' up their life but some people thinks that life's too short and why wait .I have learn to apperciate everything that we have and i am still learning .I used to thinks that time pass so slow ,wish to have a time machine there to bring me for follow 10 years and see what happen .but till today i regret what i am saying .Life's actually too short ,when you look back to the past ,you feels like it just happen yesterday .Sometimes things we didt reliaze or take it as important when A Day they are gone ,we will feels like losing something .that kind of feelings none of the things that will ever redeem or replace that makes us better .sometimes i even cry for what i losing in the end of the night .

The King of POP MICHAEL JACKSON Already pass away ,I still remember the first time i heard the news ,I though its another stupid internet scam but this turns out to be true .Even i am not a huge michael jackson fans but we heart is still broken .still remember that he will back to the music industry and rock the world once again .i afraid this time we dont have the chance anymore .these couple years have tons of bad news about him .this and that .people seems to forgot about the amazing thing that he used to have and he still have .underneath all those bads .he still the best signer on the world ..I never believe those bad news that hurt him because i am truly respect him .

Michael jackson memorial is one of the most touching .sad event of the years ,its about a legend life .many many big stars arrived there such a mariah carey .Usher .John mayer and more ...The most touching things is when Mariah carey couldt finish her song because she is too sad and the saddest things is when michae jackson daughter Paria Jackson Speech .It will brings anyone tears down ...


Some people thinks that MJ death is a ending of a sad story ,some people think that a legend is end but to me .people will die but the legend will be always in our heart .
R.I.P MICHAEL JACKSON .YOU WILL BE MISSED

Xoxo GOSSIP GIRL

BLAIR WALDORF

- I love her since season 1 pilot ,I think that she is really beautiful and stunning as always ,I love the way she act and her purpose in her life which brings out the way of her smartness and rich expensive ....Sometimes she is really bitchy and probably nonsense but I love her .

These couple days I brough Gossip girl season 2 DVD and i manage to catch up till the end and i love it ,I love the way that she has amazing sacrasm ,it probably isnt something to proud of but sometimes i see myself has a little bit in her .I love her lines and quote about it .This is below is classy :

- If have friends like those then why people need friends ?

Haha ...I love her

Its my Foods World's

I Never done this before and I quite nervous and sounds like a virgin now .I admit I am not that type of person who like to show off and let people know what I did .but today I cant stands anymore and i'm going to be expore ............Hahaha

Actually today I'm going to talk to you about FOOD .
I must tell you that I love to eat and I'd like to show you about some of my favourite foods ...
* A nice chinese delightful Porritge which is really brings up your morning ...

* This is my favourite salad of the world ! PIZZA HUT Garden salad and I dont know how many times i spends moneys and time of them but they're freaking delicious

* Dont you just love OLD TOWN ?! Ugh people ,this is one of my favourtie set meal of them ..Its really good one .I just had them on this week again ,A great big chicken chop and rice with fresh lemon tea which really amazing .

* FYI .I have been eat soooo many sundae ice cream in this year .specially these 2 months and MCDONALD is my all the favourite ,Its just rm1.05 and i have some of the greatest moment .Funny fact is they always give me higher one '''

* Western people having American breakfast which as hot dog ,cheese and bread or you wants as in english style which is some nice tea and expensive bread .Chinese people love DIM SUM and I am one of the biggest fans .I love everything about it and our whole family almost expert .no to be mention but the owner and boss of one of the most famous dim sum place in penang is my godbrother .opps

In my Whole Life ,I never being a skinny person and I used to obessed of dream being like one and i never really think it works because its not who I really am ,if thats happen then it would like really weird ,Cant deny that I love to eat and the question is who doesnt LOVE to eat ?

Some people said that they dont like to eat ,i find thats a lie because probably they just control themself to have great body .but even i want to lose weight [still] but that doesnt keep me for eating the greatest food around me .

I also Have a great family with the greatest parents of my life ,Thats why I almost eat all the greatest food from the world .

Thats it people .thats chapter one of my favourite foods. there's more to come ...*o*

My Personal Style

Forgive me for being a bitch sometimes because I likes to critic other people about their fashion sense ,I admit that i used to become one of those people who I been critic right now but believe me I used to be one of the fashion victim and its was fug and cheap .

Starts from this year ,i get in touch with fashion more and more in my life ,I almost spending all my salary on fashion only just to get my style right .I love expensive stuff and mix and match ,along the way my family helps me a lots ,i googles and read hottest fashion magazine .

Not all the style you can throw on yourself but you can make it work ,best thing Is having your personal style which i think can help you all the time to impress people ,I believe in apperaces .and first sight is important ...Sorry if I critic you again but i just cant help it and i hope you will wow me someday because i used to be in your shoes

Sorry to tell that i know i am great in styling

I .Stand for myself

I !
I Dont label myself as the person who is hard to live with or difficult to work with ,I dont think that i am that special and better compare to other person and I Try to be happy as much as I do
I Dont Know why ..I really dont !
I Feels that I belong somewhere else that is better ,I know that I might not have the best personalities but I can tell you that I Have the heart and soul that is reallt nice .
I am not that type of person who will be everybody best friend or become everyone friend becase I am that type of person who you can choose to be their best friend or worst enemy .
I am full of sarcasm because I thinks its funny ,I know that sometimes i comes off really rude but Pardon me for everything because if you really know me then you know that my word doesnt meant what i said .
I am not rich but I am the richest love from my family in the world ,I know that i have a really great parents and family members who always next to me and help me .
I am normal penang guy but i feels that i am much more than that because i love everything about the other side of the earth .
I Dont have the Glamorous life but i feels that i deserve to be a glamorous person who work in branded shop
I love everything that is quantity small ,some people love to shop in a 'commerical'' brand that has big quantity but i dont like it because i perfer something that is unique and small quantity.
I am much more than what you could even expect ,I admit that i am not a nice person but i am a down to earth person !

I ! I wish you can understand me

A BEST FRIEND

A Best Friend,Many people know how to use this word but do people really understand the real terms of it ? I used to be using the word B.F.F A lots in the past which stands for Best Friend Forever but I reliaze that I only Know how to use it but not really embrace and using the real spirit behind it .

To All my Best Friend ,Pardon me for not being a great friend .I Know that sometimes the way i speak is hurting other people feelings and My Personalities is not that good but along the way I am really glad to have you as a friend in my life ,this is such a gift .While most people dont understand me or i'll rub you people in wrong way ,you still support me with whatever decisions i make ,always next to me when i need your help .I Know that Most time I liket to judge people and critic people a lot with foul langauge but even that i also dont like when other people critic about me ,its great that you critic about my bad and give me a wake up call about what is the wrong thing that i done and said .Thank you for being there !

A Best Friend will always be in our heart ,no matter where you go ,even though we might be different in a million miles ,live in different place and having a different life right now but I still have you as a best friend .This is what Friends are for ,When I am down i open my phone ,i have no idea who to talk and express to but you guys because i know you guys are my best friend .

Thank you ! Thank you ! Thank you !

Thanks for being a good listener .

Thanks for being a good helpher .

Thanks for being a good friend

and thanks for everything that you help me in the past ,In the Future I dont know what will happen ,I will wish all the best to our life ,pray and bless for the goods .No matter how many obstacles or hards we gonna face ,we still have each other .

I wont forget you as a best friend in my life ,I hope you wont as well .I know that you will be great someday in the future ,you will be very successful in your life .I will always support your decision and respect what you do ,Just like what you did .

I am glad to have you as a friend in my life .This Post is dedicate to all my BEST FRIEND ....

A little Present For everybody ...

Today I received my May Basic Salary + my OT ,So I decided to brough my family couple present ...I admit that i know how to spend money quickly which isnt really a good thing but today I use my lunch break time to brough for my family .I brough Gap.Forever21.Topshop & Vincci for my family members and hope they like it .

Dream ...of a old friend

Dreams .....Is been long time since i have a dream ..People said that dream is a relfection of what our hopes and whats we thinks in real life and i agreed with it But I have this dream since form 4 and I dont know why its always keep on my dream land but sure its tell some story

When i enter remove ,i can said that it probably one of the hardest year in my life ,I am soo geeky in first year of high school ,i barely have a friend to talk because of my geeky personalities ,all of old school friends starts to disconnect with me because they go to different school with me ,some night i even cry because i am really lonely ,For my memory I still remember i have a best friend travis .he is my first best friend in high school .he is really nice and help my out ,part of my english is what he help me ,you have no idea i couldt even speak during first year of high school .

We been in same class in remove & form 1 ,starts from form 2 ,my personalities starts to change ,for the bad side ,i still remember we still talk while meet in school ,during early of form 3 ,he telling me something ,he said that he will move to canada with his family ,i though he is kidding since he used to tell me about this in remove ,i didt took it serious but still congratulated to him but later is real ! when i find out this ,i am too late .

What i feels regret is how come i been making this mistakes ,i even lost his e-mail address and now we dont have the chances to chat again !! I guess this is what dreams are telling ......

What Happen In Today .....

I reliaze that I rarely to blog about what happen in that day or what did i do in certain today ,check out others friends blogs ,most of them basiclly share about their life and fun stuff but I only wrote about the feelings and deeps things ...So I decided to blog about what happen in today ..

Today is my off fay which I'm very happy about it since i got time to really relax,hang out with family ,doing my own things and just being myself ...To starts off this morning ,after fetch clement to school ,me and mother are going to pasar and we eat some nice food ,around 10.30 .dad come and bring us to the very nice vintage old style-ish dim sum place and i gotta tell you that those dim sum are stunning !! if you come to penang you Must tried it and some penang people never even know this place but once you eat them ,you can taste about the amazing taste and will be remeber about it .
I Promise myself today gonna get a haircut ,i know i just got a haircut a month ago but the sides of my hair is getting longer and i have no freaking idea how to take care them ,and i basiclly look like crap coz i didt style it ,thats why i need a haircut .so dad fetch me all the day to air itam to get my hair done... At first the hairstyling is encourage me to wait for my hair to grow longer but i couldt because i just feels sucky ,then i told him to cut my hair and make it look good ,i also ask him about tips to take care the hair and how to style it since i'm not really good at it .
I am pretty happy with the results ...then ,dad have to go queensbay mall to take care something ,so me and mom going to shopping ,mom looking for some nice pants ,we go to gap.forever21.guess.padini but couldt find what we want ,then dad buy us some mcdonald ....

on the way back home ,parents stop by and buy some fresh fish ,vegetables & big prawns and gonna cook it tonight .....awwww ....i love my family soo much

My Plan

I tell you what my plan is....
My Plan for myself is to taking care the best of myself and my family and i velieve that i could really do it well ,I starts to save money because i will go to france in 2010 which is what i want to succeed my dream or some people call my desire .

Lately i am not really happy with the workplace but the truth is i really dont care about it anymore because i feels like i dont care whether what they want to do ,if someone wants to put you in a bad position and always bad mouth behind your back or someone always misunderstood your point and couldt see how hard you tried to work then you feels like losing ''it'' ,it feels like dont give a damn anymore ,seriously ! i feels that sometimes people think they know me and my personalities and Easily to catch my weakness ,i hate to tell you but i am not really who you think because the game just begin if you really do wants to pick up a starts .

I really dont care about it .you can win everything if you want and if you think you can but as long i am the last man standing and last one wins then i will takes my times to see how you failed

Photo POST

Just Post a photo of myself to let y'll see ;)

This is the new me ,new personalities ,new package and starts all over

Learning Culture

One of the Padini 7 Culture is Learning Culture .
And Its actually a great value because its states that we need to learn in every single minute of our life because no matter how experience we are ,we still need to accept and learn new things ,accept the mistakes that you make and make sure learn your lesson from it .Thats the real value about it .

Learning Culture ! Do you know that what the hell did I learn in these 2 days ,Argh ?!/Not sometimes that i can proud of .....Actually its not even a peny worthy to blog about it but i'd love to write it out and express about these shit ....
What I learn is BITCHES Never Die ,its like james bond movie ,you know ? those villans who non-stop to attack you ,I have no idea why they always like to do that ,sometimes you just wish to slap in their face but one thing I'd always remind myself is if i pissed with them which equal and its makes me a idiot because these bitches not worth to make yourself angry because of them ,because it is what they born to make ,I learn to suck it up and facing them and become a better person ...

What i also learn is sometimes you know but you cant speak ,Sorry that me for being a stupid idiot because sometimes i just dont know how to shut my damn mouth and for being too expressive and let people know how i feels ,at first i though this is part of my personalities but then it was a mistake that i really need to behave ,people dont apperciate you for being real but people will dislike you for being too honest ,funny isnt it !!!!!!!! Now I learn ,do you know that i perfer to be dumb ,You know what ? I Dont care what the shit that you put me on but If you want to win all way long then I'll let you to but As matter of fact as long I am the last man who stand then i dont give a shit about you .

What hurt the most is when sometimes you'd put your heart and soul into something but people still think that you are not good enough and always get pick because they thinks that you are not serious about ,damn ! I need something that can speak out loudly to them that I do listen and try my best ...

WHATEVER !!!!!!!!! LIFE IS SHORT AND BITCHES ARE EVERYWHERE ,I SHALL NOT WASTE MY SHIT TO SHITTING ABOUT THOSE BITCHES .FUCK THEM OFF ,THEY'RE FUCKING LOSER ANYWAY.

I Have a great future and you dont ,sorry but thats the facts not my opinion



ETA : Sorry for cursing

Dream Or Desire

Its Dream or Desire ,Both Defination is differents am I trutly Understand the meaning behind those words or I am just using them to cover up something about my new truthself Personalities
Today I online to Msn Chatting Room ,I never expect to chat with someone since I am not really a junkie of Msn or sort of online chatting room stuff ,plus its been long time since i online ,Then suddenly someone pop out and its a close friend of mine who's from high school ,you know what ? I dont know how to label her because the friendship is very blur very blur ,we used to be so close but used to thinks that everything isnt real but is it our relationship excist ? Maybe I was thinking too much but whatever .

I never expect it would be her because she probably the least person I ever expect specially its been long time ,She told me some good news of a friend who I know in high school getting marriage ,my first reaction is 'someone must forgot their condom' turns out I am wrong about it ,they getting marriage because they love each others .which is weird to me because not to be critic them but I truly never see this personalities of this girl during high school ,but i might be wrong since high school is over ,everthing is about reborn so as myself .After that we starts talks about what happen in our now .I told her that my dream list is :

- Buy a Gucci in next year for myself
- Buy a New PC for myself
- Buy a handphone for my father as his birthday present
- Travel to Euro in 2011/2012

At first her reaction is good then she thinks that it just dream or it is my huge desire ,I never truly see both differents and I actually dont care about it as long I can reach for something I want ,I would consider these are the things to do before you get marriage because time is pass soo fast and I dont want to do something that is makes me regret about in my life since i been wasting too much time in the past .I told her that I has changes a lots ,also not that person who she see in earlier of this year [thats probably the last time we see each other]

She thinks that i put a lots of pressure and stress ,thinks too much in my sholder and ask me whether i am really happy with who i am now ,my intial reaction is i think i know what is she talking about but i can said that sometimes you thinks you knew but actually you not even near know .because the past doesnt represent the now ,everyone looking forward to their own future and do what they can do for the best .My answer for her is I AM happy with who i am and what i am right now .When i typing these sentences I just reliaze that how much i has change ,I know this sounds crazy but its truth .

I dont want to label or the definations of differents between the words dream & desire ,to me both of the same just the matter of the way you treat ,I do agreed that my personalities has changes ,both for good and bad sides ,I know whats the goods and bads is but I wont gonna change it .I guess my desire is too much then .....
Funny fact is I write pretty long post this time ,maybe finally I know what to write consider i struggle to write blog lately

Changes ....

Changes ,I feels like .the changes tissue starts growing inside my body ,as many of my previous posts compared the last year and this year of me ,many people included myself also states that nor as in my physical or personalities got many changes ......

Changes ..... I actually though thats a great things ,consider look back to the past ,i dont regonize that person from that snapshot .Its actually me but for certain reason it feels like a clone with personalities of me or a less version of this is my now .is funny that 2 days ago re-watched carrie underwood golden moment during her idol [2004] ,I just figure out that its been so fast that i watching that TV show for many years .I look at other TV I also didt notice that Jordin sparks idol winning song is actually the same as my blog title .Funny isnt it .Watching Carrie underwood from Country all american farm girl turn into one of the best country singer in america nowdays .This isnt a realitytv or a soap opera with script or a teen stupid drama but its real life ,reflex back to myself ,is funny to remind me of the things that bothers me during my high school year .I have waste too much time of the stupid things .am i ?

This month I had meet many people that i didt meet in about half year of many year ,Still in their vision I still that chubby fat guy with over-hyper personalities or weirdo .the reactions that they seen the new me is good ,many people ask that what did i do to make myself lose weight ,funny facts is the ''new'' which i label the people that i meet at works ,some thinks that i put on some weight last month .Funny isnt it .Today I meet someone from High school ,is funny that she forgot my name and who I am but she still remember my face .the funniest things is I am 180 from the vision during high school but Maybe my face is different and easy to remember ? I dont know ,in my workplace I has been ask that whether i had a brother because someone said that previous worker look kind of like me ? erm ...i consider thats a good thing !

Changes ...I feels much confidents now compare than before but the bad things is the cockyness starts to grow even more than ever ,I used to though that i been create a better humble personalities for myself but recap myself again like a episode ,I feels like its actually a fake-ness ....I dont know how to explain and I dont know why ..I think that probably I starts wants to renew everythings ....

Changes .....

P.O.V

About couple weeks ago I watch TYRA Show on youtube and that episode is talking about the racial problem and the way people handle and treat in such environment ,it does depends because even though its the same story but if the races is differents then it become another whole new story !

P.O.V = Point of view ,Watching that episode really inpirsed me of how people reacted on different cases because in that episode ,they show differents clips ,funny facts is the way people reacted is totally differents ,If a white woman carried 3 children vs a black woman carried 3 children then people would think different way ,same things happen with when a black guy got chase by a white guy than a black guy chase a white guy .

Lets talks about our POV in our life ,we treat things differently isnt it ,put away the racist things if things happen .in the end we still stick to what we believe it .sometimes people disagreed with us or did such things that makes us disagreed ,actually there' s no evil in this world because if we stand on that side then we would thinks differents because there's a point of view .

but i choose to stick to what i believe ,because its my P.O.V

I have soo many things to blog about ....

I Have soo many things to blog about ....
I Really have ,sometimes during workplace my minds told me a lots of story in my head and i wants to share with you guys .Some times i saw something and it remind me of what happen in the past and what happen now .so many topics that i could blog about pops in my head that i could share with you people .but it all just slash in the short moment .When i go onto the blog i tried to remember the things that i wants to blog about ,my minds goes blank for certain reason .I just couldt explain how and why it is that way ,I still think that maybe i wants to write about it but words ! no matter how many grammar i use but i just couldt explain that feelings in that moment .

I have so many things to blog about ,I wants to blogs about myself ,I really wants .I wants to let some old friends to know how am I doing lately .Am I still the person that you think you know ? At least i could let the people and friend who care about me know what's up with me lately and my plan .Sudden I felt like turn into another myself because i thinks that I am no longer the Me that they used to know .
Yesterday I also reliaze something about myself ,No just i grown but I know that i cry much compared to previous 5 years i think ,Those tears no matter how hard I tried to hold but my eyes holder but I always failed !? I wont blame myself for tearing up But I would blame myself when I did not learn from the mistaeks ,Tearing up doesnt make up weaker like in the past but from what I learn ,tearing up makes me a stronger person for now .

I have so many things to blog about but I reliaze that is it worth to blog about ?

~GOLD~

Recently I like to said some words or lines that i think is quit useful and pretty 'classic' and those you probably heard people said in movie or novel .such as 'you want that person to be smart but not too smart but you also dont want that person to be dumb'

A Day for Myself .

Today its my off day and i will apperciate this amazing day because ever since working in padini ,i learn a lots & other .same time it is really tired because it requires a lots of enegry during worktime and others aspects as well that requires .
Many many Full days in my working hours ,i'd happy to have it because i can earn extra moneys for my income but it is very tired ,i wont gonna lie that sometimes i feels tired but when you think about the money that you learn then you totally forgot about all of that .

people said that take a rest would help you go further in the future ,thats totally right and now i understand what it means .Today I consider myself as a day for my own redeemtion ,which makes my spirit.emotion & body feels much better etc ...Hang out with parents is one of the best i ever have because you only have one parents in your entire life ,they are the people who born you .help you and always next to you in your life from the day you grow till the day the leave you .every single moment is something money cant buy .thats why i am very apperciate with the time with them ,sometimes when i back time ,seeing my parents is one of the best reason to go home because thats my home .

Today my plan is to take good care for myself ,bring some goodies ,get a excercize because i gain weight lately and many people comment about it and get a great facial massage .
Today is a good day

Akward Moments ...

Sometimes its extremely akward when couple people sit in the same table but have no topics to talks about ,even you try to squirts a topic out of your head but it only end of being worst !
It is just really weird and dont know how to explain that ,for sure it basiclly at least happen once to you people .that doesnt feels good isnt it .same time if you notice ,dont you think that while the akward moments past by ,you can see some people reaction by telling their personalities ?!









'

Its weird mixed feelings .....

My New Job is intersting .I feels like i grow a lots as in indivisual and a adult ,even though sometimes my childish still remain the same but i did become more mature than the past which is a good thing ,myself I can feels that the changez inside myself .i sounds weird but you just really have no idea how to explain .

This new Job not just help me learn a lots of new things ,knowledge and experience .Things isnt comes that easy even though I am still not happy with my performances in workplace but i think that i did really listen and learn from what they have taught me ,i did mistake but i did tried to learn it from there .I hope that people can feels i get better and better ,sometimes i feels extremely pressure & stressful but it just a test for me to see how far i can go .But i failed sometimes because sometimes i almost tears even though i tried really hard to hold it back to my eyes !

I meet many new people ,they are all differents ,judge from now i think they are really generous and nice to me and i am really and glad about that .you cant judge a book based on the cover ,yeah i really learn from it

I .......

I am Emotional Break down 2 days ago during work ,as i can said this is the first time that ever happen to me ,this is not because people makes me tears is inside my heart i am extremely dissapointed with myself ,the frausdration that is unexplain .words cant describe .I tried to hold back my tears but i failed .

I try not to give myself a pressure but the truth is i did not did well ,thats the main reason i break down ,today everything is getting better ,i told myself is a new day .whenever you feel really bad as long you ask yourself did i try my best ?! this time i can sure that i am .

tomorrow is a new day .kambateh

LESSON OF LIFE

LESSON OF LIFE ,This sounds serious but Right Now i would like to share with you about the lesson that i learn in my new working environment .These lesson are good one ,it makes you reliaze so many things that you didt reliaze about yourself before even though you probably think you know about yourself when you stands infront the mirror ,the reflection probably isnt the same as what you see compare to other people point of view about you .

When in your work place ,when you think that you did good or you give your best ,when people look at your work /performances ,they think it wasnt good enough or dont even in the standard as what you can do .think about it twice ,do you really try your best at that moment ?! Not really ...think back ,you will reliaze so many things that you didt see before or those things that you forgot .
It is ok to make mistakes because no matter how smart that person is ,people can always making mistakes in their life but the most important thing is not blaming when you know the mistakes ,the lesson is to learn from the mistake and get the improvement next time ,so that you can understand what you need to work on .
A Person ,no matter how smart you are .relationship in your workplace is important ,some people choose to being 'fake' to build up the goods in workplace so that everything arounds comes easier .Honesty is good but you cant be honest all the time ,sometimes pretend it doesnt excist or lie a little could be great for you ~no harm .a person really really need a good relationship with the people around the environment workplace because no matter how good you are ,without those people that can possible help you ,you still nothing .
having experience doesnt mean you have the standard because when enter a new working environment ,you have to fit in the new things ,if you cant accept or suits the new environment then thats your problem .some people have tim to suits but others have no problem at all .that really depends on the person .
Learning new things could be hard but same time you also self-educated ,it will only help you in your future as in person .gain the knowledge and life experience .

Lesson are important of our life ,each day we still learning ,The worst thing isnt that you are a slow learner but when a person stop wants to learn .then that person is hopeless .A fast learner doesnt mean you are smart than someone else because everybody is equal .

I learn

Over these past 3 days ,It been a pretty emotion break downs and it hit me really bad but same time its also a wake up call & make me reliaze so many things that i didt notice about myself before .
Over the past 2 jobs ,mostly i learn about how ugly or fake a people personalities can be but this time ? its totally different case because when you though that you know everything but the truth is nothing and i get HUGE frastration with my own ! not other people because this feelings is soo bad .I learn that i had to starts all over again because based on my experience ,its actually not even a ok standard for them ,thats why i failed badly

I really need to listen to them ,i did listen and i did try but for certain reason when i try to 'redeem' myself in the work place ,the result always turns out worst .i should be alert of the environment ,i know that they are dissapointed with my performances but i did try my best ,who can blame them ? because i am in their shoes i can have the same feeling as well

i hope i can be better ,i just tired of myself .

OH MY GOD ! This is seriously weird

This is seriously weird and scary !!!!
What is the scariest thing when you dont recongize yourself in the photo .I just click through my friendster [which is i didt log in long time ago] no one drop me a comment or whatsoever ,so i check to see whether my friend update anything new but they didt
then i click to see my photos ,couple just couple months ago ,what makes me soo weird ,do you know how i feels right now ,is not the matter of whether i gain or lose weight during that time but i feels i dont look like myself in that photo .i dont look like the person in that photo .i dont think is me ,yeap is still me but i am no longer the tan wei hong that capture in the photo
sounds strange but i feels like a different people .i not sure i know that tan wei hong anymore

weird weird weird

Whats the next pit stop ?

Whats the next pit stop ? Is like watching the reality show The Amazing race .watching people win or lose in the race ,whether you got first this time but probably got last next time and being eliminated from this competition .
I guess this is life goes ,Now i am not feeling bad or what .I still maintain my happy personalities by learning the environment around me .keep improving and perform to let people know my ability .while if you ask am i feels stress or down mood sometimes ? if i said its a easy thing .then i am lying ,there's no way you will feels happy all the time ,every single minute ,it could become the worst minute in your next hours .We dont know what will happen .

I am happy with the job i have right now ,the relationship with my family members and the sosial people that i used to work and represent .Today During the hours between 2.30-4.30 ,I hate how i couldt handle the situastion during work because I am dissapointed with my own .of why i couldt improve .But i will still learning ...stilll ....and stilll ....life is always about learning isnt it ?

People ask me how old am I ? Am i choosing job over my study ? Why I didt study anymore ? These questions always pop in my head ,because of my age i believe ,including myself [will ask people like that if they were that age] I just reliaze that i always ! ALWAYS ,Answering the same answer :
[ Now i am working but i will plan to study in future ,not now but later ,probably 2 years later ,i still figure out what i wants to study]

The answer to the question doesnt really translate into my head ,it such a shame that i never really think about the question ,the answer that i always giving seem to become a excuse for everything .I really dont know what will happen ,asking myself whats the next pit stop .whats the next pit stop ? But i just couldt see .

Am I seeing myself being a successful human being in future ? I am confident to tell you that i have IT to be that IT Person .but the truth is do I really think that way ? being confident infront other people doesnt mean that i really felt that way of myself ,sometimes i worried about myself .sometimes always thinking the worst thing could happen to myself in future ..... I dont know . i really clueless about everything ....and i shouldt be .

Seeing other people knew what direction they heading to but i still in the same spot ...just like a race ,some people fast ,some people slow but the end people only care about do you made to the pit stop ? at this moment i hope i am ,for least ! i curious about what gonna happen in future ,same time i am really afraid of losing something else .

I know i sounds soo confusing .Because i really am .

Funny thing that happen today. someone asking me a Question today .
- DO YOU MISS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL MOMENT & FEELS TIRED OR WORKING ?!
I guess my answer shock them ? because i think that i am much perfer working because i feels like i grown so much as a human being after working ,turns out the question that i used to think and annoyed in my head isnt bothering me anymore ,and its pretty childish .

Haha .I dont know ,tomorrow is another new day

Stress out

Lets talk about my new job ,ermm ...yeap ,so far its was good ,i did learn a lots than i didt learn from previous 2 jobs and the people are nice as what i judge right now .i did make friends with couple people and hang out with them ,we all will smile to each other and when there's topic we shall chatting .

NOW I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I FEELS REALLY STRESS .The people that work with us is actually very very very nice and they teaching me soo much and get me the right things ,but i am very dissapointed with myself because until right now i still doesnt deliver in the way that neither they or myself hope .i think my performances is not good at all compare to previous jobs .I dont know what happen .I dont want them to feels that i am a slow learner ,I need time to absorb what have i learn in the work time and i do listen and i do take direction but i just need time .

Sometimes i feels like total nothing during working because i am clueless ,i just dissapointed with myself .what the hell is wrong with me ...

A New Version ?

Its a NEW VERSION Of everything huh ? Today I decided to write this because I just have this in my mind when i go through some of the last years photos and friendster stuff .
Its funny of how everyone said that we'll keep in touch with each other during end of the year in high school .well back then we are starts to missing each other and a bit scare to explore the new world that is waiting for us to come .at that moment ,we always hang around with the friends that we been together .

as in today ,look back it is like less than 6 months ,what makes ironic is when i am alone or have time to take care my own stuff ,i didt miss them or our past memory ,call me a forgetable person or as friend ,I am shock of how i didt desperately wants to get back the moment ,I feels like they just friends and even though the best friends that been in together high school about 5 or 6 years together ,until today i rarely or dont even received or call them .what funny is when i click down my cellphone number list ,i dont even bother to dial that number ! what is wrong with everything .is people forgot me or i forgot them .

seems like the changes has gone sooo much but the time is just less than half years .funny isnt it .I look back i saw myself siting in the school classroom chair chatting with my friends but i didt see that version of me today when i stands infront the mirror .I feels like everything turns into a new version .a whole new version .I really dont know ,some people have long lasting friendship from middle school till the day they die but i rarely have them . I been losing that version of high school tan wei hong .now is a whole new version of me .so does some of my old friends

if someday i meet them in the street ,i sure will still said hey or chat to them ,but i am not sure i still that person that they used to think they know ,its the past of everything ,that doesnt mean that i am mean or what just because i didt missed the time but it just feels like it need a changes .my personalities is still the same inside my heart like the one that you know but other than that ,i just differents ,i cant tell you how but i just different

To my dearest friends ,for those who used to friends in high school ,i will sure be your friend forever even though we lost our connection but that is our memory ,today if you see me in the street you dont remember or recongize me ,i wont blame you because i not sure i will remember you as well .

friends forever ,memories are lasting but i am still keep changing ,keep improving .....

Still ......

Still in learning ,still ....dont know yet ,do my best ,learning as much as i can .wish me all the best ,gain the new experiment

Look back ...

Look back... have you feels that you have a right decision ?
Look back ....have you feels that you feels regret ?
Look back ... have you feels that this time you finally got it right ?
Look back ... do you feels funny or laugh at what you used to do ?

Memories just flash back .....nowdays I working working working .while gain street smarts working experience .i learn that my personalities got many problems .everytime is a learning and new starts .people has change a lots .am i still in the same spot ?

I feels like i do learn from some mistake that i done in the past ,i change but there's some i still really need to work on .is funny that something that always bother in my mind during past years doesnt interrupt anymore in my mind .think back i think it quit stupid of spending my time of thinking those stupid question .

who did i missed the most during working ? My family .specially my parents .happy mothers day ,i wish all my bless and sorry for my mistakes or what i done in the past .i learn ..still learning .

Just a smile

Just a smile ....Smile is the world international langauge ,you probably dont understand what they said .you probably dont understand what the langague that they spoken .but I do know that there's something where you can make people feels friendly and nice even you dont know them .
that is SMILE .just a smile .you can see the chances ,just a smile people can feels much better .just a smile you can make a different .Is really funny because sometimes i smile to the unknown people .to the strangers ,some of them will give you a smile to reply you but some will feels probably weird because we dont know each other

but i do know that smile is good .smile ! so smile it today

FUNNY MUCH ?!

Dont ever put a scale of 10 when you didt really know the true .Haha
is funny that i though JS would be a good choice for one of my career which turn out to be the damn bad experience but at least i did learn how to handle the situation .urgh thank god i will leaving this damn company end of this month .
work in PADINI starts from next month ,so check me out in next month in queensbay padini concept store .working in PADINI o ...selling office wear

Same ....

Same Question,same regret same answer same guilty same emotion keep runing on my minds .I am just cant stop thinkin about it ,feels like dont even know how to describe ,try to avoid and stop remember but it seems getting worst ,look back to the old photos and only can replie on that ,besides this i hate the fact ,tears drop inside whenever evertime i think ,apperciate every single moment i could ,give all the best but it still not enough ,I did not do my best I am soo regret for it .working working working ,family is the most important in life .

Tears ....I am very sorry .i am very sorry ,i didt have time to spend with your childhood .i wish you could be with us but it cant ,I miss spending time with you ,miss you soo much when you're a baby .still wondering why this become a facts .i hope when you grow up you still remember that i really love you .regret ...still dont know .

everytime see you go ..ur expression tells me why we leave you again .you tell me ur story and confessions .i do love you very very much but i cant keep you even i want to .dont cry .seeing you be with me then just leave it hurry give me tears inside my heart ,everytime getting worst .everytime .I feels like wants to cry now .I dont want to imagine what he thinking ,probably hate me or what but if you are i understand for that ..

stop thinking seems like worst idea ,worst day since yesterday .now all i can do is looking forward to the future because i had miss enough ,embrace the future .journey has already written .i miss you

GOOD

Now working in JS [jefferson] I never though that i'm gonna learn so many things .it also shape up some of my personalities aspect ,learn the way to be more friendly ,the fashion tips ,the way to arrange and some like it .The stuff are nice to me ,I make friends to everyone ,Its actually better than what i expect

Today I get my uniform ,is short pant + Polo T + Converse shoes .I need to 'give up' my jeans and branded shirts and shoes ,Its all new now .Is funny because i didt starv myself anymore like what i used to during working in gap ,now i reliaze i dont chase for branded anymore

Good ...for chances .,wish me all the best

I think I in love with someone

I think i in love with someone
I think that the feelings is right ,i think that this time is finally my time And i think that i should grab the chances to apperciate it .
I wish that It can goes the way i want but we will never know what happen ,I hope she know what i think and have the same feelings as i do .I dont afriad to show the feelings to her but same time i think that if we meant to me we will if not then be friends
It still too early to judge but i hope i am right because i dont think i will wrong this time
If you ask me why i love her ,sorry but i couldt give you the exact answer because when you love someone you cant explain why ,the feelings just love ,the only word in the world can express LOVE

New Job New enviroment New Atitude New Begin

After the 'great' experience on Gap ,Now I work in another fashion shop but this time it isnt branded shop ,turns our its a local brand that call Jefferson.
Of course the paid isnt good as Gap but I must said that the people are pretty nice to me ,The works isnt complicated ,I sure learn something from past job which i can apply in this one but we need to fit and follow the way when you move onto different place and job right ?

Today is the first day ,It just weird because i already click with them which is great because i feels like i know them for a long time .they taught me and just all nice to me ,I hope everything goes that way in the future ,Wish me all the best

Straight guy Fashion 101

I know this sounds weird but since i have some time now ,so I decided to make a post about straight guy Fashion 101 ,Most people think that those guys who know how to dress up themself or stylish is gay .But now the world has changes ,We can maintain to be smart,stylish,simplistic but still expensive & Straight !

The looks that i personally going for is to find your personal style ,Many people suggest to follow the hottest latest trend so that you can looks chic & trendy but do you reliaze that not everything can suits you ?! My personal advice is to read more men magazine such as GQ or looks at the way those metrosexual celebrities dress ,the way they dress is pretty simple but it is very Fashion forward & smart . Some guy thinks that a straight guy dont need to take care of his fashion because there's so uncall but i have to tell you that its totally wrong ,some guy already are teenagers but they still wearing the stuff that their parents buy for them .I know that we must respect our parents but when you grow up ,you need to have your own opinion and know the way you do .of course we still keep the respecto .

Now I think the 5 things that a man must know is Simple is the best .I strongly suggest you must at least have 3 branded items on your closet .Trust me ! you probably that it just materialistic but its needed .in this world ,many people judge the books by its cover so we need to package ourself as best as we can .

*** THINGS YOU MUST HAVE ***

- 3 Pairs of Great jeans ! remember to buy the simple design ,not the hip hop or whatever because it will makes you looks cheap .Straight fit is the classic cutting of man jeans ,Now there's a skinny jeans which is pretty popular but you have to know that not everyone suit to wear that jeans because if its too tight then you will be 'Gay-ish' & Fashion victim which is a worse thing .I suggest Slim fit because the cutting is in between of Straight & Skinny jeans ,it will looks good on you and makes you looks smart .About the colour one ,I suggest to pick darker colour because it will makes you looks better,it also can help you which can match the clothes or shirt easily than lighter colour

- 2 Shirts ,A Military shirts that have pocket & a classic fit shirt will do just fine ,you can hang out with your girlfriend or go to semi-formal party like MTV style ,or you can even wear to important dinner ,high class place to attend some event .it makes you looks smart ,clean & nice

- Some Cool or Branded T-shirts .You can have some Funcky words or cute design in your T-shirt but not over the top or hip-hop ish ,Some people said that buying branded is just like buying a branded to wear ,Thats pretty true .Armani.Guess.H & M.Gap.Espirit Etc those will do just fine just keep it simple & fresh

- Polo T ! It will very important ,you must at least have 2 ,Black & White is the classic yet is the best choice ,if you like other bright colour like orange.pink or purple you can try it on but make sure you look good on them because you dont want to look like wearing somebody things right ? another great thing about polo T is whenever you go to Job interview or some event ,it will helps your apperances than a t-shirt .

- A great pairs of Sport shoes & sneakers .you will wearing them all day long & it should be the most comfortable and best

- Undies , Some guy still wearing the triangle underwear & based on most research ,women perfer their men to wear boxer brief or boxer because it looks sexier and boxer brief is so much more comfortable & 'free' than the classic triangle underwear .it also can maintain your body health

- Some accessories Such as necklaces sunglass or ring ,but make sure they are as simple as it can be ,in order to help you maintain the imagine that you going for

My conclusion is you can follow the trend but same time you still must have your own personal style ,combine those two together ,you will get all those woman attention ,it will helps you in all aspects in life .remember Simplistic.Smart.Sexuality. !