Have a certain Emotion Breakdown

Sometimes I'll hate a certain Emotion Breakdown ,That kind of upset feelings make you really nervous and no clue at all ,you just feels really tired frustrated and angry .Yeah that emotion call HATE
i want to control my emotion but i cant sometimes ,call me a bad actor but i such a failure if you put me into a scandalous society ,I Hate things about me in the pass ,look into the class where i used to sit ,cant believe i used to be that sterotype ,hate of being ingore and 'excistent' which i used to be no-one in the class during high school year ,I HATE IT .Funny that now i have change in mental and how i look & dress but my personalities is still the same ,i still have a good heart just that i'm more pride & critical !
HATE I hate that i'm not good enough to handle tough emotion breakdown and fake fucking bitches ,Too lazy to type out and not even worth to mention .
This such A STRONG WORD .I dont even know why i use it to express but i'm sure its just for certain moment because if i look back to what i wrote .i'd LMAO .