Time pass soo fast

The 2009 September ..74Kg

end of August 2009 76kg

Begin of August 2009 79Kg
The Highest Peak of my weight 93KG

Somewhere around 2008 when my weight around 89Kg
Near graudation while my weight reach 87kg During 2008

Time pass soo fast ,I Couldt believe its going to be october soon ,in my mind i though that i still a high school graduated but now not anymore,the things has changes soo fast around me ,force all the things to grow up ...

I am change so much

Little updates of what happen recently ...

Just a little updates of what happen recently

Chapter 1 : Work
- Well My Passion & fire is back ,now at least get people confirmation that i can work and i know that this wasnt something that i need to prove because i know i can bring it but of course money is all the things that it matter ,tbh I wasnt really putting my heart on this job because i dont consider is worth ,well no job in this world is worth except me for being my parents son .I just wish to have a good sales every single month then i get a good comission ,I dont care about the relationship with the staff because it just blah ..well its sosial and i know gotta put my game face on but i just feels like didt care anymore .like ya know ,its not even worth to deals with IDIOT .well you couldt put some idiots away ,so you just have to ingore them ,if you think i dislike you or whatever then i hope you should know why and i dont care about a damn about it .i'll just doing my job properly ,makes couple lame jokes and have good time with it ..


Chapter 2 : Personal stuff
- Well i still continue keep up my personal stuff .my room is going to get renovation soon ,so i'm pretty excited about it ,about some paper work and exams that i'm on ,i feels pretty shame that i didt have enough time to study and until now i still failing which totally idiotic of myself .I need to take care my body better because i'm just recovering from sick [2 days MC] and it was pretty bad ,i'm having fever.cough. my throat is burning ,sort of stuff ,so my health is more important but then again i'm back on the on diet plan because i gain a bit in past weeks .so i gotta watch out .but since i'm sick ,so it automaticlly drop a bit and i'm feeling good about it but still have to keep up to reach my goal weight and ideal body

Chapter 3 :Desire
- So I probably have a chance to overseas in end of the year and i hope it is going to happen because i am totally excited about it ,now my fashion sense is getting even better ,i'm not cocky to admit it but its the facts ,so when i get my salary i will buy a skinny jeans and checks shirts ,i already spotted the topman one .awesome ! cant wait to buy

so thats it
xoxo

I am Just another Teenager

Hey everybody My Name is TAN WEI HONG ,You can call me Derek if you like .
I love my life because i have a lovely parents and sister who love me very much and always give support help and build a strong family tree for me .

I graudated last year in high school ,i been start working since last year december .if you ask me whether i plan to study in future or i just want to be street smart and my answer would be I will try my best to enter a wawasan universiti next year .Now i work in Padini concept store under the department Padini which selling office wear ,its my third job actually .

I love Everything that is Fabulous Expensive Glamorous and Beautiful ,I spends tons of money on fashion because I love them ,sometimes i think great clothes can cover my low-esteem confidents ,I know it might seems weird to said i have low-esteem confidents but its true .I though that I am different than some of the teenagers in my age because i am not like the character from soap opera or friends around me who struggle after their high school life but today i reliaze that underneath everything :

I AM JUST ANOTHER TEENAGER

At first i think that i know why i want and what my life is meant to be but its 180 twisted ,I have strong family but due of my personalities ,many things fail myself in the real sosial life ,This is the one thing that i struggle a lots and i seriously needs to work on it ,sometimes i didt meant it but i dont know how to use the right word or right tone and it rub people in wrong way .

I need to be grow up in myself ,Many things in my life that i am still not achieve and always relay on people and i only know how to blaming ,which is wrong ! I need to be focus and more serious about it

I am really love what i'm having and i dont want to grow up too fast .I'm 19 and its not too young but its not that young .

SHUT me DOWN

I'm using a browntape ,open it then wrap around my mouth and cover with my lips .I starts to stop talking and forgot my voice and how it sounds like then i dont know how to express myself besides let my work and results answer every question and judgement .

YEAP ! THAT IS WHAT I WAS HOPING TO HAPPEN .
I love to express how i feels because i am a outspoken person and i am outgoing ,always love to express to other people about how i feels but i learn the truth about these few days ,turns out people that work in same place as your doesnt like it at all ,then i figure out the best way to solve the problem is to SHUT ME DOWN ,Which shut my damn mouth .

When i dont have 'voice' to explain and express myself ,i will put my heart & soul with hardwork into my work ,voices surronded comes to attack and judging .the only way is to prove that i am do it and i can pull this off .i''m hoping my work performances & the outcome result is good because starts from now i am waiting them to express for me .i am tired to open my mouth to express anymore because i dont know how to use the right word to express myself ....

Life is too short .i will be happy .I think about the people that i love ......i work for money and have a better life and not to impress you people ...

I will SHUT DOWN Myself ,the truth me starts from today in my job because thats what they want to see .i shall starts create a clone for my own ,for their sakes .

OVER

I am really over ,over with everything .I am really tired and fraustrated to deal with the things that you people pull to me .I know I make mistake and i admit the fact that i am wrong and sorry about it ,maybe my atitude rub you people in wrong way but pls dont out every judgement on me whenever i did something ,pls let me have time to explain .

why is it so hard to let you guys have time for me to explain ? i just come here to work ,i just have to earn money ,make friends and gain life experinece but i dont understand why ? why ? why ? I know that I probably give you people hard time when i didt really did well in my task but pls forgive me .i know you probably tired of me making mistake but i already done my best to achieve everything that hand on me .you think that i purposely make it become a failure ??!

do you know how much it hurt when people treat you hardwork heart and soul piece into something trash ? pls stand in my angle and understand how much i feels .i am a good listener but doesnt mean i am the best listener ,when you not happy with someone or complain about someone else .i will listen and talk through about it but why everytime when you facing that person as you can act like nothing happen and not even want to confront about it ?

I am worst actor in the world ,i consider myself smart is actually a side of dumb ,i am dumb because i dont know how to put my makeup in my face .pls i asking for you people to let me have time to explain ,try to be in my place try to understand how i feels ,i know you probably dont have time to do this but pls at least give me chances .

I am over with this ,i am over with everything ,starts from this moment ,i am going to stand for myself and i will do the things that i did is right .no more regret ,as for you people .I AM OVER YOU !!!!

I am NOT asking for permission

I have the right to decided what i want to do and what decision that i need to make in my life ,The action that i take doesnt means that i am completely correct but that also doesnt mean that you have the right to judge on everything that i do .

I have a great family ,lovely parents and lovely sisters .For those people who love and care about me will only give me advice and help me through the situations at time ,I have respect for all the people that i love .For those people who only know how to judge other people .i have two words for you SCREW YOU

I am so tired and dont want to continue to playing character with the drama that you people join ,I am so frustrated and just want to finish and done my job right ,Pls dont make a godamn decision or a judgement that you put on me because i do NOT ask you to do that .for me you dont have the damn right to judge on me .I have put my heart and soul in my work ,if that doesnt seems enough for you then i'm done because i dont need to prove to you that i am that good because i know that .

I am so tired of proving to you people that i am good enough .I did learn my mistakes from the past but why you people never seems to understand it ,pls dont judge everytime ,I'm here to work and earn money and experience only ,i dont even care to make friends but this is a workplace and i dont want to make it bad situations because i probably face you people at least 8 hours a day .

So PLEASE !!!! I do not asking for your permission on everytime ,if you think that i am wrong then correct me and not bashing about me .i am done enough ,i am so damn tired because when i achieve on something you people just never seems to glad it but when i did something mistake you people just overacted about it .maybe i am sensitive but so what ? i really dont care at all .I make the decision .

I make those decision is for myself and the people that i love and NOT try to impress you people .I'm done !~

I really tried my best already ! why it still isnt enough ?

Sometimes when you didt tried your best to achieve something or work on something that you wish to done then when its come to problems or trouble you have no one to blame but yourself
but sometimes when you really tried your best and put all your effort but people still think that you did not give it your all ,do you know how it feels ?

if you dont care about something then you wont even bother to take care of it ,I tried my best to achieve something and want to prove to people that i have the ability and potential to be great lead and all you need to do is just trust your best with me ,i know that put trust on some people isnt a easy things to do ,specially on nowdays society but you never wish you doubt about my performances .i wont said that i am perfect because i am careless and making mistakes but i wont said that i am amateur because i have experience ,

just that i really hurts my hearts that people didt see the effort and my heart that i put on the work that i done ,i do tried my all best to give it to all ,if you think that wasnt enough for you people then what should i do ? Why I must keep impress you ? sometimes i know that i already reach over my limit ,i dont need to prove that i am this good because i know that i can do it but how come you people always doubting on me ?

I tried to give people helps and advice but no one ever put it onto their ears ,I just want to help.is it that hard for you people ? if you think that i have no tried hard enough then i shall redone all over again but when i tried my best and still not enough .then what should i do ?