Song of my moment - BAD DAY

Now The song BAD DAY sang by Daniel Powter can pretty much describe how i feels about it ,My heart is feels like that way ,the lyrics hits me ..

Ever been this sad ...

This must be the worst month in my life .
I dont know why and i do want to know why its coming to me all this sudden .Everything ,everything feels like failing apart ...everything ! This moment I dont know what to do ,I been try this give up myself lately ,specially this 2 weeks .I never been of it but when i'm alone and have time to think ,its all coming to my mind now .I feels like want to give up my life ,I feels tired & dont want to continue doing it .

I been keep dissapointed people who love me again and again ,feels soo shame .that feelings i dont have it before ,i cant handle it but cry ...tell myself not to but its keep coming more and more ,If i give up my life i will hurt people that love me ,the parents & sisters & friends that care about me .think ! mind goes empty ...i try to kill myself twice this 2 weeks .It just soo hard ....is soo hard i dont want to live anymore .

I dont ,i dont know what to do ,i dont have any direction .i try myself to be happy everything time infront my family because i know they care about me and i dont qant them to be sad ..I dont know ...Maybe all of this will keep me stronger or i will fall apart ..i dont know ..

Missing ....

I feels that part of me is missing ,In my mental no matter how happy i am ,there's always something missing I dont know how to describe that exact feelings but just feels like piece of my body or my bones is gone ,I dont know how to place it back and i know that someday that feelings may be gone but when it does ,its still not that same anymore

I blame myself for not apperciate ,I blame myself for blaming And i blame myself for not reliaze what am i doing or put myself into it ,i just hate myself sometimes ,I really hate it when my memory flash back i saw everything that i didt notice before and looking back i really dont know why i did it ,if there's a timemachine can take me back .i will put everything away and jump into it without a doubt because i lost too much ,i missing too much around me ,even if i am rich someday in future ,those things are money cant buy

promise myself for not letting tears comes out from my eyes but i failed again ,I couldt control my emotion but i just there ,maybe release out can makes me feels better but it always feels around my mind ,I have no time no mind to in love or dating with someone now Because i feels that there's no need ,i am not those people dating because wants to date .I looking for the right person because i know who i love based on first sight .

You probably thinks that i am sad because of a girl now but i am not ,i am missing a family .I really miss it ,Behind those happy and crazy emotion ,behind the mask i am very sentimental

I'm tired of crying .

I'm tired of crying ,I am ,Today its been the third time i cry this month .when you look at me you may never expect i can be this emotional but the truth is i am more than you could ever think i can be .

I really tired ,I tired of feelings misunderstood and losing ,People look at me as a happy bubbly person who never take anything serious but do you know what inside my heart ? do you know how i feel ? why everyone are like that .i do take things serious ,its not that i want my life full of failure and losing but the thing is I cant control it and i dont know where to go ,nothing to do . I want you to know that i might not always be that happy and positive when i didt happy with certain situation .You can tell by my facial expression ,I dont understand why you people always think i have bad personalities or bad atitude ,I dont do anything wrong .it just reflex on my face of how i feels about it .

I Feels soo tired ,i am i dont know how many times i said this but i think that you people never understand how i feels ,i wish ,i wish you could just be in my shoes and place in the same place as i am ,try to think in my way because then you will understand why i make this decision and why i feel that way .I dont want to cry in the public or infront other people because i dont want you people think that i am such a weak person but i want you to know that I am a human also ,why you people never understand that .I am a human too .i have emotion ,can you just stop by and listen to me for once ?!

Today when sister talk to my on the phone about my future ,I cant control my emotion the tears come out from my eyes .Sister told me that i shouldt cry that much because i am a man .I grow up and shouldt cry that easily .Job career and future is everywhere ,it just depends on how you choosing .I dont want to cry anymore .I know that i am not going to promise this but i will try my best to hold back those tears .I'm just tired you know ...sometimes feels like maybe leaving this world would be the best choice

Question & Answer

I stole this from Hui theng blog ,Just copy and paste her format .


1. What is the meaning of Friend?
- A Real Friend will always taking care about you ,no matter where you go or what your decision ,they will respect it and give the best bless in this world .

2. What is your most favourite thing to do ?
- Go out with my family because I apperciate every single moment with them

3. If you are given a chance to reverse your life,will you go back to the past ?
- If i really have that chance ,i will apperciate every single chance in my life because i feels like i lose and miss too much great thing in my life .

4. How old are you?
- 19 Years old

5. Is there someone in your heart right now
- not really ! because my heart is empty and i been hurt by someone too much

6. Do you feel loved in this world ?
- I do because i surround by the family member who give the love and truly understand the meaning

7. What are you afraid to lose the most ?
- My parents because i dont know what will happen I not sure i have the passion to live without them

8. What you wish to do now?
- I wish to have second chance in my life to do something that i should and not regret

9. If there's someone that you love, would you confess to him/her ?
- I will when i know she is the one

10.Do you think you are special?
- I do because sometimes i feels like a main character from a hero movie ,haha

11. What are the requirements that you not wish from your other half?
- Dont respect my parents or my decision

12. What do you think is your purpose in life?
- apperciate every single moment with the person u love ,dont regret and embrace it .

13. Do you Hate yourself sometimes ?
- I do ,sometimes i try to kill myself because i hate myself but i wont gonna do it because it will hurt someone who love me soo much

14. If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- Vegetables because it good or me

15. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick?
- I actually wants to choose rich [,most people will] but i reliaze that being happy is the best thing in the world ,if there's choice between being rich but not happy .of course i will choose happy because money can buy anything but not happiest

16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
- my personalities because soemtimes i did or said something stupid

17. What is the most prized possession that you wish you can bring to Heaven?
- Parents because i love them

18. Name one love song that you have in mind and why?
- Over you [by chris daughtry]

19. What is your plan when you become an old man or old woman?
- Having many grandson/daughter

20. Do u think ur Life is meaningful enough?
- I think my life is meaningful ..

I dont know what to do

I received my SPM result ,it is worst than what i expect .I know that i am ruined my future career ,the problem is i always know how to talks instead of making a statement to prove my point ,REAL friend always said the word that wakes you up but sametimes it also the hurtful way ,I admit that i hate the feelings of loser but i know the fact that they give me a reality check to wake me up .

I hate that i always try to use to fast forward in my life ,when i have the great oppurnity to do something great ,i always blew it away .I dont know why and i always repeating the same damn mistakes ,feels like i am twisted while thinks that is other people problems ,i never really reliaze that what is my own problem .this personalities of mine ,dont know whether is good or not ,I always rub people in wrong way .I DO !

Sometimes i hate that why i am not born in rich family ! But i know that when i have this mind ,i am in really bad shape because when i return to be the real wei hong ,i am bless that i have this great family tree that makes a stronger me ,they given me the best thing they ever could I just didt know how to apperciate it ,people said life is about luck ,u have the talend and dont have the luck ,you still cant make it anyway ,i agreed with it but i think that i always resting on it and not take the stand .

when people live in certain ages ,they know what they want and try their best to achieve it ,I hate myself for not knowing my thing ,why i am like this ,until today i am still struggle to find the way that belongs to me .god knows .until today i dont know what will happen tomorrow ,until today i still wish that god can give me something great but at this moment i know that i am writing because this time i finally learn my lesson for writing all my stuff

this time this moment i wish ,i wish i really knows . I really wish .

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR
* Wish you all the best in this new chinese new year ,have a good relationship with your family & friends .have great career and good health
wish you all the best