I'm tired of crying .

I'm tired of crying ,I am ,Today its been the third time i cry this month .when you look at me you may never expect i can be this emotional but the truth is i am more than you could ever think i can be .

I really tired ,I tired of feelings misunderstood and losing ,People look at me as a happy bubbly person who never take anything serious but do you know what inside my heart ? do you know how i feel ? why everyone are like that .i do take things serious ,its not that i want my life full of failure and losing but the thing is I cant control it and i dont know where to go ,nothing to do . I want you to know that i might not always be that happy and positive when i didt happy with certain situation .You can tell by my facial expression ,I dont understand why you people always think i have bad personalities or bad atitude ,I dont do anything wrong .it just reflex on my face of how i feels about it .

I Feels soo tired ,i am i dont know how many times i said this but i think that you people never understand how i feels ,i wish ,i wish you could just be in my shoes and place in the same place as i am ,try to think in my way because then you will understand why i make this decision and why i feel that way .I dont want to cry in the public or infront other people because i dont want you people think that i am such a weak person but i want you to know that I am a human also ,why you people never understand that .I am a human too .i have emotion ,can you just stop by and listen to me for once ?!

Today when sister talk to my on the phone about my future ,I cant control my emotion the tears come out from my eyes .Sister told me that i shouldt cry that much because i am a man .I grow up and shouldt cry that easily .Job career and future is everywhere ,it just depends on how you choosing .I dont want to cry anymore .I know that i am not going to promise this but i will try my best to hold back those tears .I'm just tired you know ...sometimes feels like maybe leaving this world would be the best choice