Thursday, May 28, 2009

Akward Moments ...

Sometimes its extremely akward when couple people sit in the same table but have no topics to talks about ,even you try to squirts a topic out of your head but it only end of being worst !
It is just really weird and dont know how to explain that ,for sure it basiclly at least happen once to you people .that doesnt feels good isnt it .same time if you notice ,dont you think that while the akward moments past by ,you can see some people reaction by telling their personalities ?!









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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Its weird mixed feelings .....

My New Job is intersting .I feels like i grow a lots as in indivisual and a adult ,even though sometimes my childish still remain the same but i did become more mature than the past which is a good thing ,myself I can feels that the changez inside myself .i sounds weird but you just really have no idea how to explain .

This new Job not just help me learn a lots of new things ,knowledge and experience .Things isnt comes that easy even though I am still not happy with my performances in workplace but i think that i did really listen and learn from what they have taught me ,i did mistake but i did tried to learn it from there .I hope that people can feels i get better and better ,sometimes i feels extremely pressure & stressful but it just a test for me to see how far i can go .But i failed sometimes because sometimes i almost tears even though i tried really hard to hold it back to my eyes !

I meet many new people ,they are all differents ,judge from now i think they are really generous and nice to me and i am really and glad about that .you cant judge a book based on the cover ,yeah i really learn from it

Saturday, May 23, 2009

I .......

I am Emotional Break down 2 days ago during work ,as i can said this is the first time that ever happen to me ,this is not because people makes me tears is inside my heart i am extremely dissapointed with myself ,the frausdration that is unexplain .words cant describe .I tried to hold back my tears but i failed .

I try not to give myself a pressure but the truth is i did not did well ,thats the main reason i break down ,today everything is getting better ,i told myself is a new day .whenever you feel really bad as long you ask yourself did i try my best ?! this time i can sure that i am .

tomorrow is a new day .kambateh

Thursday, May 21, 2009

LESSON OF LIFE

LESSON OF LIFE ,This sounds serious but Right Now i would like to share with you about the lesson that i learn in my new working environment .These lesson are good one ,it makes you reliaze so many things that you didt reliaze about yourself before even though you probably think you know about yourself when you stands infront the mirror ,the reflection probably isnt the same as what you see compare to other people point of view about you .

When in your work place ,when you think that you did good or you give your best ,when people look at your work /performances ,they think it wasnt good enough or dont even in the standard as what you can do .think about it twice ,do you really try your best at that moment ?! Not really ...think back ,you will reliaze so many things that you didt see before or those things that you forgot .
It is ok to make mistakes because no matter how smart that person is ,people can always making mistakes in their life but the most important thing is not blaming when you know the mistakes ,the lesson is to learn from the mistake and get the improvement next time ,so that you can understand what you need to work on .
A Person ,no matter how smart you are .relationship in your workplace is important ,some people choose to being 'fake' to build up the goods in workplace so that everything arounds comes easier .Honesty is good but you cant be honest all the time ,sometimes pretend it doesnt excist or lie a little could be great for you ~no harm .a person really really need a good relationship with the people around the environment workplace because no matter how good you are ,without those people that can possible help you ,you still nothing .
having experience doesnt mean you have the standard because when enter a new working environment ,you have to fit in the new things ,if you cant accept or suits the new environment then thats your problem .some people have tim to suits but others have no problem at all .that really depends on the person .
Learning new things could be hard but same time you also self-educated ,it will only help you in your future as in person .gain the knowledge and life experience .

Lesson are important of our life ,each day we still learning ,The worst thing isnt that you are a slow learner but when a person stop wants to learn .then that person is hopeless .A fast learner doesnt mean you are smart than someone else because everybody is equal .

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I learn

Over these past 3 days ,It been a pretty emotion break downs and it hit me really bad but same time its also a wake up call & make me reliaze so many things that i didt notice about myself before .
Over the past 2 jobs ,mostly i learn about how ugly or fake a people personalities can be but this time ? its totally different case because when you though that you know everything but the truth is nothing and i get HUGE frastration with my own ! not other people because this feelings is soo bad .I learn that i had to starts all over again because based on my experience ,its actually not even a ok standard for them ,thats why i failed badly

I really need to listen to them ,i did listen and i did try but for certain reason when i try to 'redeem' myself in the work place ,the result always turns out worst .i should be alert of the environment ,i know that they are dissapointed with my performances but i did try my best ,who can blame them ? because i am in their shoes i can have the same feeling as well

i hope i can be better ,i just tired of myself .

Saturday, May 16, 2009

OH MY GOD ! This is seriously weird

This is seriously weird and scary !!!!
What is the scariest thing when you dont recongize yourself in the photo .I just click through my friendster [which is i didt log in long time ago] no one drop me a comment or whatsoever ,so i check to see whether my friend update anything new but they didt
then i click to see my photos ,couple just couple months ago ,what makes me soo weird ,do you know how i feels right now ,is not the matter of whether i gain or lose weight during that time but i feels i dont look like myself in that photo .i dont look like the person in that photo .i dont think is me ,yeap is still me but i am no longer the tan wei hong that capture in the photo
sounds strange but i feels like a different people .i not sure i know that tan wei hong anymore

weird weird weird

Whats the next pit stop ?

Whats the next pit stop ? Is like watching the reality show The Amazing race .watching people win or lose in the race ,whether you got first this time but probably got last next time and being eliminated from this competition .
I guess this is life goes ,Now i am not feeling bad or what .I still maintain my happy personalities by learning the environment around me .keep improving and perform to let people know my ability .while if you ask am i feels stress or down mood sometimes ? if i said its a easy thing .then i am lying ,there's no way you will feels happy all the time ,every single minute ,it could become the worst minute in your next hours .We dont know what will happen .

I am happy with the job i have right now ,the relationship with my family members and the sosial people that i used to work and represent .Today During the hours between 2.30-4.30 ,I hate how i couldt handle the situastion during work because I am dissapointed with my own .of why i couldt improve .But i will still learning ...stilll ....and stilll ....life is always about learning isnt it ?

People ask me how old am I ? Am i choosing job over my study ? Why I didt study anymore ? These questions always pop in my head ,because of my age i believe ,including myself [will ask people like that if they were that age] I just reliaze that i always ! ALWAYS ,Answering the same answer :
[ Now i am working but i will plan to study in future ,not now but later ,probably 2 years later ,i still figure out what i wants to study]

The answer to the question doesnt really translate into my head ,it such a shame that i never really think about the question ,the answer that i always giving seem to become a excuse for everything .I really dont know what will happen ,asking myself whats the next pit stop .whats the next pit stop ? But i just couldt see .

Am I seeing myself being a successful human being in future ? I am confident to tell you that i have IT to be that IT Person .but the truth is do I really think that way ? being confident infront other people doesnt mean that i really felt that way of myself ,sometimes i worried about myself .sometimes always thinking the worst thing could happen to myself in future ..... I dont know . i really clueless about everything ....and i shouldt be .

Seeing other people knew what direction they heading to but i still in the same spot ...just like a race ,some people fast ,some people slow but the end people only care about do you made to the pit stop ? at this moment i hope i am ,for least ! i curious about what gonna happen in future ,same time i am really afraid of losing something else .

I know i sounds soo confusing .Because i really am .

Funny thing that happen today. someone asking me a Question today .
- DO YOU MISS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL MOMENT & FEELS TIRED OR WORKING ?!
I guess my answer shock them ? because i think that i am much perfer working because i feels like i grown so much as a human being after working ,turns out the question that i used to think and annoyed in my head isnt bothering me anymore ,and its pretty childish .

Haha .I dont know ,tomorrow is another new day

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Stress out

Lets talk about my new job ,ermm ...yeap ,so far its was good ,i did learn a lots than i didt learn from previous 2 jobs and the people are nice as what i judge right now .i did make friends with couple people and hang out with them ,we all will smile to each other and when there's topic we shall chatting .

NOW I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I FEELS REALLY STRESS .The people that work with us is actually very very very nice and they teaching me soo much and get me the right things ,but i am very dissapointed with myself because until right now i still doesnt deliver in the way that neither they or myself hope .i think my performances is not good at all compare to previous jobs .I dont know what happen .I dont want them to feels that i am a slow learner ,I need time to absorb what have i learn in the work time and i do listen and i do take direction but i just need time .

Sometimes i feels like total nothing during working because i am clueless ,i just dissapointed with myself .what the hell is wrong with me ...

A New Version ?

Its a NEW VERSION Of everything huh ? Today I decided to write this because I just have this in my mind when i go through some of the last years photos and friendster stuff .
Its funny of how everyone said that we'll keep in touch with each other during end of the year in high school .well back then we are starts to missing each other and a bit scare to explore the new world that is waiting for us to come .at that moment ,we always hang around with the friends that we been together .

as in today ,look back it is like less than 6 months ,what makes ironic is when i am alone or have time to take care my own stuff ,i didt miss them or our past memory ,call me a forgetable person or as friend ,I am shock of how i didt desperately wants to get back the moment ,I feels like they just friends and even though the best friends that been in together high school about 5 or 6 years together ,until today i rarely or dont even received or call them .what funny is when i click down my cellphone number list ,i dont even bother to dial that number ! what is wrong with everything .is people forgot me or i forgot them .

seems like the changes has gone sooo much but the time is just less than half years .funny isnt it .I look back i saw myself siting in the school classroom chair chatting with my friends but i didt see that version of me today when i stands infront the mirror .I feels like everything turns into a new version .a whole new version .I really dont know ,some people have long lasting friendship from middle school till the day they die but i rarely have them . I been losing that version of high school tan wei hong .now is a whole new version of me .so does some of my old friends

if someday i meet them in the street ,i sure will still said hey or chat to them ,but i am not sure i still that person that they used to think they know ,its the past of everything ,that doesnt mean that i am mean or what just because i didt missed the time but it just feels like it need a changes .my personalities is still the same inside my heart like the one that you know but other than that ,i just differents ,i cant tell you how but i just different

To my dearest friends ,for those who used to friends in high school ,i will sure be your friend forever even though we lost our connection but that is our memory ,today if you see me in the street you dont remember or recongize me ,i wont blame you because i not sure i will remember you as well .

friends forever ,memories are lasting but i am still keep changing ,keep improving .....

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Still ......

Still in learning ,still ....dont know yet ,do my best ,learning as much as i can .wish me all the best ,gain the new experiment

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Look back ...

Look back... have you feels that you have a right decision ?
Look back ....have you feels that you feels regret ?
Look back ... have you feels that this time you finally got it right ?
Look back ... do you feels funny or laugh at what you used to do ?

Memories just flash back .....nowdays I working working working .while gain street smarts working experience .i learn that my personalities got many problems .everytime is a learning and new starts .people has change a lots .am i still in the same spot ?

I feels like i do learn from some mistake that i done in the past ,i change but there's some i still really need to work on .is funny that something that always bother in my mind during past years doesnt interrupt anymore in my mind .think back i think it quit stupid of spending my time of thinking those stupid question .

who did i missed the most during working ? My family .specially my parents .happy mothers day ,i wish all my bless and sorry for my mistakes or what i done in the past .i learn ..still learning .